Monday, May 05, 2008

Hello World!

So, where was I? Oh yeah, Pakistani politics... BLAH! I am still following it on and off and 2 of my very close friends have made it to the National Assembly. More on that later...

What a chaotic yet pleasant 3 months or so I have had! Marriage is a different ball game altogether and I am actually enjoying every bit of it, Alhamdolillah! The marriage took place on the 15th of January and only Allah Knows how I pulled it through! What a weird, weird wedding I had! For all those that might care to remember, January 15th was a rainy and wet day; the entire city was inundated in heavenly outpour! I have never seen Dubai so soaked and soggy - it was a sight!

The weird thing was that I had been doing rigorous istikharah throughout the first 2 weeks of January seeking Allah's counsel in taking this step of marriage. My blood results (and the wife's too) were necessary for the nik'ah and I was to collect it early morning on the day of the nik'ah. I got up at 7 o' clock in the morning to go get our blood test results and the moment I stepped out of the house I realized how I was going to have a long day ahead of me. I was stuck in snail-pace traffic from Qusais all the way to Baraha Hospital, Deira, from where I had to collect the results. To exacerbate matters, I had a slight fever.

I got to Baraha hospital in 2 hours (I ask you!) and the moment I got out of my car, which was parked in a pool of water, I was in for the shock of my life: The ceiling of Baraha hospital had caved in and water was pouring through the ducts overhead right onto the machines and counters ! Security personnel were shoving people out telling them to go home and come the next day! My heart was in my mouth, I swear! I was almost shattered and I had thought that the Will of Allah was against what I had willed. I had this weak feeling in my knees and I did not know what to do. I wasn't about to give up though.

I tried reasoning with the security person who didn't speak English or Urdu, which only made it harder to explain my predicament to him. Fortunately, an old man in a dishdash was kind enough to hear me out and spoke some broken Urdu. I quickly picked up his broken pattern of Urdu and tried speaking to him in the same manner so that he could understand me. It worked! He took me inside to the incharge (who was a veiled lady) who could speak in English. I explained my situation to her and she mobilized her people to expedite my pending report. I had to hang around for 2 hours and she handed the blood reports to me! I think it was 2 o' clock by then. As I left, all the good folks there wished me well. They all had heard my story and the lady in the veil told me that if my intentions were good and God had willed for this marriage then not even a storm could change that. Indeed, Allah's help arrives when you most need it!

I had a lot of errands to run, make some preparations for the dinner at night, make arrangements for the wife and in-laws and in between I had to go to office as well! I was running all over the place and I have never been so rushed in my entire life! The nik'ah was to take place just before Maghrib at the Dubai Courts where I got soaked in rain in the suit I had worn to work. I hadn't taken a shower that day; I hadn't had anything to eat since the other night; I hadn't cut my nails in a while, basically I was a wreck! If only words could do justice to what I felt and had been through that eventful day.

By the Grace of Allah, the nik'ah took place smoothly and in 20 minutes we were done. The call to prayers for Maghrib had just subsided. Me and the 2 witnesses from my side headed out for Maghrib prayers in the masjid behind the Dubai Court. After the Maghrib prayers, I prayed 2 rak'ah nafl to thank Allah for everything - I swear By Allah it was the most soothing, fulfilling, and peaceful prayers I had ever experienced! 2 rak'ah of nafl prayers hardly take 5 minutes and those 5 minutes took away all the pain, sadness, fatigue, anxiety and what-have-you!

I have left so much detail in between due to paucity of space and time (sigh, I have so little at hand these days!). But, marriage has been a rewarding experience. It is a great blessing from Allah and a good life partner - I have come to appreciate - is one of the choicest blessings of Allah (SWT).

The wife has left for Canada and I will be joining her there in a couple of weeks. I miss her dearly and can't wait to see her again! Puppy lurvvv, hehe.


Blogger rosh said...

WOW - it's all quite fitting ya know. Seems to me you were indeed tried & tested in your path towards a positive new life. I like to think the showers on the 15th across DXB - where indeed showers of blessings.

Happy to hear and know things turned out well - a prayer and sincere wish for blessed days ahead.

Keep well :)

May 05, 2008 9:56 PM  
Blogger the real nick said...

Al, and to think George Bush came to town just for your wedding - mazel tov, er, mabrook!

But I am a bit shocked. You finished this nik'ah thing and then you left your new wife standing around on the wet steps of the Courts like an uncollected parcel whilst you were doing your prayers? That's a bit ungallant, innit, comparable to me running off to the pub with my mates right after the ceremony. My wife would have kicked my balls!

But, welcome to 'the Club' & best of luck with married life!

Puppy love will wear off momentarily, but at least you can always take another batch of wives....

May 06, 2008 11:40 PM  
Blogger al-republican said...

Hahaha Nick! I don't think I am quite cut out for multiple women! And you may vouch that at times one marriage is one too much :P Bachelor life had its own charm...

I didn't leave her, Nick, she left for home where she had to get ready for the dinner along with her family.

May 07, 2008 1:06 AM  
Blogger rosh said...

Al: I passed on your post to my brother and his friend (she is half Pali/half Pakistani).

They know each other since kindergarten and hope to share a life together - except her folks and my folks, cannot see or comprehend the subject. So it's been a heavy boycott of sorts with plenty of Egyptian & B'wood drama. Actually it's the moms who are causing havoc - the dads are fine, so are most siblings - except for the twitchy witchy aunts on both sides.

Prior to being a race, religion, colour, borders and so on - aren't we people first? Why can people not see people - and respect mature emotions mutually shared.

May 09, 2008 4:49 PM  
Blogger al-republican said...


You mean your blood brother? What seems to be the problem? Inter-religious marriage?

May 10, 2008 5:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aww :) I am really touched by your wedding day story! Best of luck to u and your wife forever. Lots of kids and LOTS of Barakah!

May 10, 2008 7:36 AM  
Blogger the real nick said...

Yes, rosh, tell us!

I am intrigued as to which half the problem is: the Palistinian half or the Pakistani half.

Personally I'd prefer the third half.

May 10, 2008 11:19 PM  
Blogger rosh said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 11, 2008 10:12 AM  
Blogger rosh said...

Al: Yup, genetic brother. Problem lies in people's head, I think. Not sure what the fuss is about - everyone knew everyone else over the last 25 years, so when bro and his best friend, who attended the same high school and Uni here in NY, decided they want to share a life together - Egyptian/B'wood dramatics broke out within female contingent.

lol Nick - read above. Folks with zero issues is her dad, who is Pali and my dad, who isn't desi.

The sad thing, most of these folks have been in the UAE for close to 40 years and know each other well. It's like there is still some sort of a "wall" - which makes me quite sad, 'cause some people cannot seem to think/feel beyond man made perceptions/boundaries when it really matter.

May 11, 2008 10:13 AM  
Blogger al-republican said...


If the women are beefing based on religious background then there is a case. And, listen, women don't beef unless there is some beef with guys too. We men are good with diplomacy, but in our bedrooms with our wives we discuss things exactly opposite to what we show to the world. Where do you think momma's get their strengths to fight on from?

Anyways, if one really sits and thinks hard about it, an inter-religious marriage can lead to some serious problems in the future. That is not to say that 'normal' weddings always turn out pleasant. Inter-culture marriages are sometimes hard, too, but the fact of the matter is that these are adjustable. Value systems and religious beliefs are very hard to reconcile and it leads to serious repercussions in the form of confused children.

But, the case is complicated. Because quite clearly your brother and her friend dont share the same views as those of their parents. Love is blind, but it shouldn't cloud reasoning. I don't know the true nature of the conflict, but I am afraid that if your brother and his friend are convinced they want to do this, they will get it their way eventually - right or wrong. That is just a matter of fact. Perhaps if the parents dont agree to what their children are doing today, they share the blame in their upbringing that they do not share the same core values that their parents have followed.

Of course, if it is not a religious issue then the entire argument is moot. I can only hope that better sense prevails amongst everyone and an amicable solution is reached. Ask your brother and his friend to keep praying to God for guidance.

May 11, 2008 9:29 PM  
Blogger the real nick said...

@ Al,
Of course, if it is not a religious issue then the entire argument is moot.

That's easy to say, but it's not true. Religion normally makes things in life worse and complicated, but not as bad and complicated as race and culural background.

I hace been in an inter-religious, inter-racial, inter-blah marriage myself for the last eight years, and I tell you that the only thing that counts is a similar socio-econimic and educational background and similar sense of humour. When as a mixed couple you can laugh at each other's cultural indiosyncrases then you've made it. My in-laws are remarkable people for they saw 'me' instead of simply a 'gora'.

Forget religion and all that divides people. Rosh, recommend your brother and finace to stress the similarities.

Find something to share if need be: organize Israel-hate-fest family picnics for example. Or common Bible burning barbecues...

May 11, 2008 11:36 PM  
Blogger al-republican said...


I agree with what you say. The basic point I was trying to make is that one should share the same value system. So if religion is important to any of hte 2 individuals in the thick of this then this not a good idea.

If for both religion is just another culture idiosyncracy to laugh about then it will go well. If you are an atheist, I don't expect your wife to be a firm believer in God either. Or are you telling me your wife is a devout hindu/christian and you have weekend BBQs where you burn the geeta/bible for coal fuel?

The point is that many people in their blinding love stop looking at the ramifications of what they are about to do. And when the deed is done then regret sets in. As a human being, you don't want to see any other person in that regret phase. It really is hard on the individual and it becomes a compromise everyday where you have end up lying to yourself until you muster enough guts to call it quits.

May 12, 2008 12:57 AM  
Blogger rosh said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 12, 2008 8:44 PM  
Blogger rosh said...

Hey guys, thanks for your thoughts/views. To be honest drama from the women, well it's got a lot to do with just about nothing. Bro, and his friend (soon to be fiance) seem not to care of the background dramatics and all that fake blackmail and wailing crap. They've known each other for almost 25 years and spend the last 10 years together at uni and work. Religion, culture or race has never been a problem - I mean they know one another well enough -neither wants the other to convert religion or such sort - both partake/respect each other's views & religion etc. These kids (well they are 28 and 26) are educated and have positive careers going.

Anyhoooo - we'll see how it goes. Couching (on my couch) on the other side of the planet, am not fully aware of facts/plans or how they hope to keep it alive in the UAE. Worst case, they'll just get hitched in the UK - get back to the UAE and work things out in the long haul.

I shared your turn of events with them - sort of to brighten things up a bit :) So that's it really and perhaps I've said more than I should have.

May 12, 2008 8:57 PM  
Blogger Inspire Your Mind said...

Mabrook Al-

If your wife happens to be in Ottawa; then it's me who'll deliver your first born.. OK?

Mabrook again..
Please pop into my new blog..

June 08, 2008 10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, al rep, alf mabrook. i am glad things worked out for you, though in a chaotic manner. i am one of those who used to fight with you over dubai, and its questionable credentials. something which should be simple, and enjoyable as a wedding in any country, was made so complicated and traumatic for you. thanks to dubai. anyway, all is well it ends well. it does not for many others in dubai often, hence the cribs.

August 27, 2008 4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahem ahem....
leave your blog after you got someone :p
once you get wife, then you dont need anything else.. heheh

as-salaamu 3alaykum dude45 ;)

June 02, 2009 7:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

war eingest rzt, und die letzten takte. Ich m chte. Er sah das rote dunkel, und mit einiger artillerie h tte man zwischen sie gepre t. Jeder wu te


January 20, 2010 7:01 PM  

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